Washington, D.C. - According to a new Bureau of Economic Analysis report, a controversial effort to boost sales by giving free fentanyl to children on Halloween has resulted in yet another huge financial loss for the nation's drug dealers. Actress Sydney Sweeney, shown here talking to a group of middle schoolers about forced sterilization of intellectually impaired women "If someone had told me two weeks ago that hiding fentanyl in Halloween candy for children still wouldn't

Washington, D.C. - President Trump on Tuesday named the first national magnet czar in a move to focus efforts on improving our understanding of the mysterious objects as scientists around the world remain baffled and manufacturers continue to incorporate them into an ever-increasing variety of technological marvels without knowing what they are or how they work. President Trump, shown here nearly taken down by...magnets? We can't know for sure because they are so mysterious.

Davenport, IA - A growing number of chiropractors, historically associated with care of the spine, are specializing in teeth and looking to unseat doctors of dentistry as the go-to experts in oral health. 12,000-year-old Algerian cave painting of an early chiropractor treating a patient with tertiary grimp by correcting a subluxation of the 10th thoracic vertebra "Teeth are a lot like bones," Frank Grimes, a chiropractor who specializes in dental care, explained. "The only re