Columbus, OH - A study published this month in the Journal of Paranormal Medicine reveals that 75% of American colons are haunted, though many of the hosts are unaware of their ghostly stowaways. A board certified gastroparapsychologist, shown here sensing the presence of a vengeful intra-abdominal poltergeist in a woman complaining of unusual feelings of movement in her lower abdomen "We decided to finally approach the question of haunted large intestines scientifically afte

Belvidere, Nebraska (KN) - President Donald Trump called for the criminal prosecution of the Democratic candidate running for Village Board Chairperson in Belvidere on Friday after revelations that she appears to be a fundamentally good person. Candidate Myrna Miller, shown here baking with grandson Mervis, tragically born with a cabbage head because her daughter-in-law prefers Sara Lee to her own homemade apple pie, still treats him like a normal boy and lets him gnaw on all

Tuscon, AZ - Shocking new research funded by the Institute for Safe Children (ISC), a conservative think tank based out of the Tucson campus of the University of Phoenix, reveals that virtually all children, regardless of age or location, are in constant and serious danger. A group of young children, shown smiling as they imagine a country ruled by conservative leaders where they need never again face the tyranny of men reading to them at a local library while wearing heavy m