London - For the first time since the technology was developed in 2012, gene editing using the CRISPR-Cas9 system has been used to successfully change the genome of a child born with Pediatric Asshole Disorder (PAD).
"This has given us a chance to start over as a family," Lilly Sagemop, the former asshole child's mother, explained. "For the first time in my boy's life, I can look him without thinking there goes a monster that's half me, half his asshole father. Still, I worry about potential side effects"
The CRISPR-Cas9 system allows for the editing of DNA in the vast majority of cell types in virtually all known organisms, even the Latvian river skink. According to Sir Monty Tushwhistle, a PAD researcher and clinical geneticist who conducted the trial near Oxford, the tool has created seemingly miraculous opportunities to cure genetic diseases. "By harnessing the cell's natural repair pathways, we inserted a new fragment of non-asshole DNA and, it appears, replaced a mutation with a healthy sequence that promotes a generally chill demeanor so that the patient can lead a normal life. An almost perfectly normal life. And so far, little Bryce appears to be doing great. He's doing just really, really great."
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