Cosmeceutical Industry Running Out of Ingredients

Phoenix, AZ - Cosmeceutical researchers at the prestigious University of Phoenix have announced that if current trends of worsening global climate change continue, the world may soon be depleted of novel ingredients for use in anti-aging creams, facial moisturizers, hair conditioners, nail rejuvenators, holistic bio-protectors, and topically applied body detoxifiers by the year 2030.

A 97-year-old woman, shown here during her daily application of a topical anti-aging cream made from bioresonant quantum nanoparticles of raw skink oil

"This is something that all of us working in the field today need to be very concerned about," lead researcher Dr. Robert Bibble, MD, ND, DAOM, RD, who is both a certified herbal psychologist and a Level 3 naturopathic midwife, explained. "As it currently stands, we are pretty much down to yak urine and pigeon chyme. We are cresting the ridge of peak ingredient and will soon begin a steep and catastrophic plummet. Oh, that's good. You've got to use that."

Even as Dr. Bibble is calling for aggressive measures to combat climate change and industry-wide regulations on the number of new ingredients allowed per product, some experts aren't buying into his doomsday scenario of a world with seafront property in Michigan and cosmeceutical products containing only active ingredients with legitimate evidence for their safety and efficacy. Azriel Gunderson, a clinical cosmetician and director of Body Essentials Day Spa in Sedona, isn't worried. "We are pioneering the field of nanocosmeceuticals, which are formulated with proprietary, state-of-the-art nanotechnologies such as dynamic intradermal organic nanovehicles. Our nanocosmeceuticals will implement innovation in a nanoformulation of previously exploited botanicals and other natural ingredients so that we will be able to milk this stuff for decades."